HELPING SOMEONE YOU LOVE START OVER

Have you ever been affected by someone else’s poor choice?  We all have. It’s especially hard when it involves a family member. We may feel like we’ve suffered enough from their bad choices and we have to sacrifice again now that they are “on the right path.” If you are feeling like that, it’s understandable. Going through this process may not be easy and it takes some time.

Here are a few steps that might make this process a little easier:

ü  Forgive. (Forgiveness doesn’t mean what was done was ok. It means we refuse to let the person, situation or emotions control our lives).  This may be the hardest step. Choosing not to let this situation control your life or emotions will bring freedom for you and peace in your home.

ü  Try not to judge. We’ve all made mistakes that we have been truly sorry for. A kind word and forgiving heart would have made that time in our life a lot easier. Remember, if the person is truly starting over, they feel as bad about causing the pain as you do about being in pain. 

ü  Practice unconditional love without expecting something in return. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel like the offending person owes us something for all the pain they’ve caused. In order to love unconditionally, forgiveness is key.

ü  Give them the opportunity to succeed.  Give them the benefit of the doubt and support them as much as possible. I know it takes time to trust again, but having a hopeful attitude is essential.

ü  Communicate.  Communicate openly with your family member, encourage and demonstrate open communication. Talking about emotions, irritations and giving an abundance of compliments will go a long way in restoring trust and rebuilding a relationship.

Activity:

v  Do some self-searching and see if there is any forgiveness that needs to take place.

v  Check your lines of communication. Are they open or are they closed?

v  Take one tangible step toward forgiveness.