Stage #3 Storming

The Storming stage cam happen at any time, often between the fifth and eitghth months.  The relationships become rocky usually after unearthing a difficult problem or sensitive subject.  Many times this stage is marked by a significant setback or failure in the youth's life; causing the mentor to believe that he or she is wasting time.  It is critical for the mentor to weather this storm to win the right to be heard by the youth.

In the Storming stage the following behaviors are common:

• Encourager feels like a failure.  When things go from comfortable to unpleasant it is hard not to put yourself in the blame for this new development.  It is so important for all encouragers/mentors to be prepared, to understand, and to refrain from personalizing the experience.  The sooner the proper perspective is reached by the mentor, the sooner the this stage can be dealt with properly.

• Confidentiality can become a factor.  Your mentee may be unsure of your confidenciality as you discuss the hard topics that come up during this stage.  It is important to refer to the training you received as this issue comes up.  Make the following guidelines with your mentee as your relationship progresses and keep Program Director, Carolyn Greer aprised of the situation:

1. Nothing that your mentee tells you will be discussed with anyone else except the Mentor Site Coordinator (Mrs. Greer).
2. If there is a threat of physical harm to the mentee or to other youth, the mentor must contact the Program Director (Carolyn Greer) IMMEDIATELY. 

• The mentor may be feeling burned by the relationship and angry/annoyed by the mentee's behavior/disrespect.  So often the mentor can feel like it is their responsibility to discipline a mentee for certain behaviors.  Your training has made it very clear that this is not your job.  As a mentor you are there for guidance, encouragement, and to be a listening ear.  When you feel the need to be anything else discuss the situation with the program director for guidance.

As you navigate your way through these rough waters, remember to be patient, keep the program director in the know, and to be consistent and committed more than ever to the relationship.  Remember that C2E staff is here to help!  Click here or call 501.730.0205 to contact Carolyn Greer.